ANOTHER GAP, CAN WE COPE WITH IT WELL?

I have never imagined anymore separation after our almost-died-four-month one. Yet here I am, struggling alone thousands miles from where he is. Some say, gap is good for relationships. Well, I assume it does not work in my case. Gap only makes us fight, misunderstand and weak. Suprisingly, though, it works well on him.

 

His newest pict: With his collague during dinner.

Since our arrival in India on February end, we were always together (even among relatives and families). Our feelings were getting deeper and we were also getting closer). We tried our best to make every moment worth remembering. We went to many places - mostly for food :))) coconut water, palm fruit, crab, roasted chicken, cakes and many food I tried there - we drove along Coimbatore roads, in which I always feel scared because the way he and most Indian people drive. 

Focus on the chicken *drooling*

I cant believe myself that it was already more than one and a half month since he left for Curacao. I still remember when her mom, grandma and I were dropping him off the airport. I promised myself that time, I would never cry because it would make my in-laws worried. Also, I had cried the day before in the car when we were going home from a mall due to this farewell. That time in the airport, I didn't cry at all, though I really wanted to :'( why? because her mom cried. Seriously, when somebody was crying, I could not simply cry also, instead, I would choose to calm her down. That's what I was doing that time. Still, I had no idea how I were going to survive every single day.

Going to airport with Indian taxi. See.. I don't look sad, right?

Back to home after he took his flight to Mumbai, I still mesmerized him. I felt like he was there among us. When I was in the living room watching TV, I would think that he was upstairs, working. It happened even until some weeks. It helped me through the day times. But the hardest were always the night times. I used to sleep with him, under his arms, sharing the same blanket (although it was hot). It was one of the best things in my world. Then suddenly, I had to sleep alone, or with my mother in law (I'm scared sleeping alone). The first lonely nights, I felt insomniac. I could not sleep at all. I would sleep after 2 or 3 o'clock even there were days I slept at 6 o'clock in the morning. I was feeling something was missing and I felt incomplete since then. 

Now, I'm back to my hometown again. I'm always making myself busy to kill boredom when I'm not going to proceed my documents. I wish time would go fast so that I will soon find myself in his arms, once again and forever.

I LOVE U BABY 

I MISS U SAYANG

Perempuan Tanpa Wajah

Cinta... Kenapa bisa begitu indah? Tapi bisa menjadi begitu sakit?

Aku adalah seorang perempuan, biasa. Tanpa Talenta. Tapi selalu salah memilih jalan.

Kini, aku berada di sebuah jalan yang kuanggap takdir dari Tuhan. Aku menjalani takdir ini dengan suka citanya, beserta duka citanya pula. Aku selalu berpikir, bahwa aku adalah orang yang baik. Bahwa aku berhak bahagia. Tampaknya Tuhan tahu, jauh di dalam hatiku... Aku tak lebih dari orang yang terlalu egois dan mementingkan diri sendiri... Oleh karenanya, Tuhan menghukum aku... Aku dipertemukan dengan seorang laki-laki yang begitu indah dan begitu membuai tapi... kurasa hatinya takkan pernah untukku.

Laki-laki ini, memiliki cinta yang begitu dalam kepada seorang perempuan. cantik. tangguh. bertalenta. Tentu saja tidak seperti aku, perempuan ndeso yang tetap aja ndeso. Mereka berpisah, bukan karena cinta yang hilang, tapi karena keadaaan. Salahkan keadaaan tapi kuyakin... cinta mereka masih ada melekat kuat dalam hati masing-masing.

Lalu laki-laki itu, memilih aku - atau siapapun yang mencintainya lebih dulu- Mungkin aku terlalu gamblang memperlihatkan rasa kagumku, rasa cintaku padanya... Di saat dia sedang sangat frustasi akan hubungannnya dengan si perempuan yang cantik, tangguh dan bertalenta itu. Aku datang. si perempuan ndeso yang polos yang membutuhkan cinta dan kasih sayang. Baginya aku sangat menjanjikan. Siapapun aku... Bagaimana rupaku... Dia tidak peduli. Yang penting dia harus menikah... Bisa pulang ke rumah orangtuanya di India, dengan seorang gadis - bagaimanapun rupanya-

Aku mengerti posisi laki-laki ini... Tapi mengapa harus aku yang dikorbankan?